People I'm stalking

I have been kicking around a post idea for something like a year or a year and a half, but I've been torn between wanting to write it as a post (and tell you things) and wanting to ask for solutions.

Mr. Bostoniensis and I have been trying to consolidate our household, and the Brave New World of the Internet is... not facilitating this. Vendor after vendor, platform after platform, is organized around the concept of a single user account. Even when company accounts nominally allow multiple user accounts, typically one user account is the real user account and the other has restricted access.

For instance, when setting up joint financial instruments, we split up the work: I would set up the joint bank accounts, he would set up the joint credit cards. We subsequently discovered that he can't access the statements and tax documents in our nominally-joint bank account's online portal, and I can't have an independent login at all for our allegedly joint credit cards that show up on my credit report.

This is infuriating. What we want to happen is that he and I have equal full access to the accounts we share, such that either of us can do what needs to be done on them, which I thought was a pretty normal approach to, well, life. I did not think heterosexual marriage was some sort of weird counter-cultural edge-case, and it offends my software developer soul to be reduced to sharing usernames and passwords.

But that is exactly the case, and I would just hold my nose and do it, except for one thing.

Two-factor authentication.

If I want to be able to two-factor into an account that uses his phone number, I have to access his phone. Something best done while he is not asleep, which, unfortunately, is precisely when I am most likely to want to be paying bills or doing online shopping. Likewise, if he wants to two-factor into an account that uses my phone number, he'll need access to my phone. Which, honestly, he could probably slip into the room and grab off the charger while I'm asleep – which is precisely when he'll be wanting into those accounts – but that does him no good if say I were out of town or in the hospital or some such.

And more and more 2FA is becoming mandatory. You can't turn it off. (Or in the notable case of one of our credit cards, you can turn it off. It will two-factor you anyways, but the account settings assure you it's off.)

Two-factor authentication is stupid and awful for so many reasons, but it has only recently dawned on me that one of them is that 2FA is intended to keep anyone else from logging in to your account and I actually want someone else to log into my account. Legitimately, I think.

So.

Obviously, the Bostoniensis household requires some sort of telephony solution such that:

• text messages (SMS) sent to a single phone number propagate to two cell phones; *

• either of the two cell phones can originate text messages from that single phone number which is not the phone number of either of those phones; **

• and the phone that didn't send the reply gets a copy of it, so it can stay in sync with the convo; ***

• voice calls sent to that single phone number propagate to one, the other, or both simultaneously of the two cell phones, depending on a on-the-fly configurable schedule of when which call goes where; ****

• either cell phone can originate a voice call that will appear to come from the shared number; ****

• ideally, both cell phones could conference into the same call with a third party, but that's a bonus;

• must be compatible with Android phones, an probably needs to support iOS as well; we'd love a solution that also supports web and/or MacOS desktop access, but that's a bonus.

I am looking for recommendations for solutions that (are known to) meet this specification. There are lots of solutions for small businesses, but r/smallbusiness drags a lot of them for filth, and also we're cheap and don't want to pay a fortune, especially for a lot of businessy services we don't need like the ability to spam-SMS 10k prospective customers an hour or (all the rage right now) deploy an AI receptionist or surreptitiously surveil our customer service agents' work for quality and training purposes or integrate with Salesforce.

Also, crucially, a lot of these services seem to be based on a phone tree model, where each handset gets its own extension, and I'm really unclear how that would work with automated voice-call 2FA. Not well, I am guessing.

So what I am looking for is knowing recommendations that can answer from direct experience as to whether a solution will support our intended use case.

Has anybody else even tried to solve this problem? Or does everybody else just accept that financial instruments, online retail accounts, and virtual services can only really belong to one member of a couple at at time?

This seems like something there should be an obvious commercial service for, targetted at families, but the only one I found no longer is in the Play store and also may be wholly defunct.

As a side note, this isn't only relevant for couples. It's relevant to all sorts of multi-adult households, from polycules to multigenerational households. It is of particular relevance to people with aging elders who might want to be able to get into the elder's accounts to help them from afar. Especially adult siblings of aging parents, where no one sibling should be the only person stuck with all the administrative work. It's surprising that I haven't found a commercial solutions to this yet, and wonder if there already is one everybody else already knows about.

* Necessary to allow either member to receive a 2FA text message when either one initiates a log in.

** Necessary in the case we want to revoke texting permission to a third party by "text STOP to end".

*** Necessary not to engage in an inadvertent Abbot and Costello routine.

**** Necessary because every once in a while a 2FA system will barf on texting VOIP numbers, and only successfully get through with automated voice call 2FA. Also it would be nice for one of our other use cases – the "get Siderea's doctor's office to call back and make sure a human answers no matter when they do" use case – for there to be one number that rings through to both of us. But also necessary that we can schedule it not to ring when one or the other of us are asleep, while still ringing through to the other. I need to be able to 2FA at 2:00 A.M. and Mr. B very much needs my doing so not to cause his phone to ring.

***** Maybe not strictly necessary, but there's a lot of systems that react poorly, or at least with more scrutiny, to customer calls about accounts other than the ones associated with the number the call is coming from. It would be better if we just only ever called NStar from the number they have on record for us, but that means we need to be able to originate voice calls from the same number we'll be using with them for security purposes.


Edit: I'm really hoping for a non-Google, commercial solution.

Canonical link: https://siderea.dreamwidth.org/1897060.html

[Content Advisory: info that may be US government classified and controlled unclassified info leaked to news outlets, within. Actual status is unclear to me.]



Cuba has been effectively under siege by the US since at least January.

The US has cut off all Cuba's access to fuel imports. The situation is getting increasingly desperate. And a bunch of things just happened today. Yesterday, by the time I post this.

The US seized Venezuela January 3. Venezuela had been one of Cuba's two primary sources of oil, and once the US had control of Venezuela, the US halted shipments of Venezuelan oil to Cuba. Cuba's other main supplier of oil was Mexico, and on Jan 27, Mexico announced it was suspending oil shipments to Cuba. The Mexican president was evasive when asked point blank if the Trump administration was pressuring them into it, but Mexico has a critical trade deal with the US coming due for renegotiating, and dare not antagonize Trump.

Two days later, Jan 29, Trump issued an EO threatening any country that ships oil to Cuba with tariffs.

Apparently, there has been, since around that time, an undeclared US naval blockade of Cuba, to prevent oil shipments from getting through. The Trump administration hasn't admitted it, but Jan 23, Politico published a report that three anonymous sources in the Trump administration said that the administration was considering a "total blockade on oil imports" to Cuba, and a few days ago the NY Times published an analysis of ship movements in the Carribean indicating that there was indeed a naval blockade.

Cuba has received no foreign oil since its last shipment from Mexico Jan 9th.

As of Feb 3, the Financial Times was reporting that a consultancy was reporting that Cuba had "15 to 20 days" of oil left. Feb 5, the UN Secretary-General spokesperson issued a statement about a humanitarian disaster looming in Cuba.

Cuba of course did what it could to ration oil, but without enough of it, things began to fall apart. They started running out of fuel for cars, public transit, trucks to ship in food, garbage trucks to take the trash, and tractors to harvest crops. Cuba primarily generates electricity from oil-burning power plants so the electrical grid started failing and they started having blackouts. People have been cooking with whatever they can burn in the streets; there is no reliable refrigeration. Of course, they are also running out of food, and have difficulty accessing water. All elective surgeries have been canceled.

Feb 8, Mexico sent a delivery of humanitarian aid – 814 tons of food and hygeine supplies – to Cuba, to arrive later that week. This doesn't violate the US sanctions. Probably.

Feb 9, Cuba notifies all airlines that fly to Cuba that Cuban airports are running out of fuel and they will no longer be able to refuel in Cuba; Air Canada announces it's suspending flights to Cuba and sending empty flights to rescue Canadians in Cuba. Canada has been the largest source of tourists to Cuba, and the tourism industry is one of Cuba's main sources of foreign currency, without which it basically can't engage in international trade.

Also Feb 9, Mexican president Sheinbaum publically called the US's sanctions on Cuba "unjust" ["muy injusto"] for how they impacted the people of Cuba and pledged to keep finding a diplomatic solution with the US to get to ship Cuba oil.

Feb 13, the Ñico López oil refinery in Havana, Cuba, had a fire. The Cuban government reports that it was swiftly contained, and that the refinery continues to function, but that an investigation was opened into its cause.

Feb 22, shipping analysis firm Windward announced that they'd detected a Russian tanker (subsequently identified as The Sea Horse by Kplr) headed from the Mediterranean to Havana, likely carrying oil, putting it on a track to directly challenge the US Navy's blockade. It is due to reach Cuba in early March.

Feb 23, Canada announced it would be sending some sort of relief supplies to Cuba, but was cagey about just of what those supplies would consist.

Today, Feb 25:

• Trump announced a plan to allow US companies to sell Venezuelan oil to Cuban businesses, but not the government.


• It has emerged that Marco Rubio (US Sect of State) is in talks of some sort with Raúl Castro’s grandson, Raúl Guillermo Rodríguez Castro.


• There was an exchange of gunfire between Cuban border forces and 10 heavily armed people in a speedboat with Florida tags who opened fire on them when discovered just off the shore. According to the Cuban government, the assailants were all Cuban residents of the US; four were killed, six wounded and taken for medical care. Cuban authorities have accused them of being terrorists. The commander of the Cuban vessel was also wounded in the initial attack from the speedboat.

The commenter VisualEconomik EN on YT argued today that Russia is unlikely to go to the mat for Cuba, for a variety of reasons, including that Russia is economically over-extended by its war in Ukraine; he also contends that Russia and China have no more patience for Cuban mismanagement and despite the tactical military advantage having turf within 100 miles of the US coastline, they're kind of done with dealing with Cuba's government. As to whether this is true, I can't say, but it sounded reasonable. This is good news if true, because otherwise, if either wanted to back Cuba against the US, this could be the match that sets off the powderkeg.

( News sources and further reading below, in chronological order of publication [6,690 words] )

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If you live in the BosWash Corridor, especially in NYC-to-Boston, you need to be paying attention to the weather. We have an honest to gosh Nor'easter blizzard predicted for the next 3 days, with heavy wet snow and extremely high winds – the model predicts the damn thing will have an eye – which of course is highly predictive of power outages due to downed lines.

Plug things what need it into electricity while ya got it.

Whiteout conditions expected. The NWS's recommendation for travel is: don't. Followed by recommendations for how to try not to die if you do: "If you must travel, have a winter survival kit with you. If you get stranded, stay with your vehicle."

I would add to that: if you get stranded in your car by snow and need to run the engine for heat, you must also periodically clear the build-up of snow blocking the tailpipe, or the exhaust will back up into the passenger compartment of the car and gas you to death.

As always, for similar reasons do not try to use any form of fire to heat your house if the regular heat goes out, unless you have installed the necessary hardware into the structure of your house, i.e. chimneys, fireplaces, and wood stoves, and they have been sufficiently recently serviced and you know how to operate them safely. The number one killer in blizzards is not the cold, it's the carbon monoxide from people doing dumb shit with hibachis.

NWS says DC to get 2 to 4 inches, NYC/BOS to get 1 to 2 feet. Ryan Hall Y'all reports some models saying up to 5 inches in DC and up to three feet in NYC and BOS.

2026 Feb 21 (5 hrs ago): Ryan Hall Y'all on YT: "The Next 48 Hours Will Be Absolutely WILD...". See particularly from 3:30 re winds.

If somehow you don't already have a preferred regular source of NWS weather alerts – my phone threw up one compliments of Google, and I didn't even know it was authorized to do that – you can see your personal NWS alerts at https://forecast.weather.gov/zipcity.php , just enter your zipcode. Also you should get yourself an app or something.